{"id":953,"date":"2015-01-28T16:41:24","date_gmt":"2015-01-28T16:41:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.myface.org?p=953"},"modified":"2023-06-20T23:09:59","modified_gmt":"2023-06-21T03:09:59","slug":"zen-art-cleft-discovery-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.myface.org\/es\/zen-art-cleft-discovery-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Zen and the Art of Cleft Discovery Part I"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>By: Shawn Sadjatumwadee<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Jan 10, 2014. This same date exactly a year ago, I barely had any idea what a cleft lip was and certainly didn\u2019t know what a cleft palate was. We had just found out my wife, Tene, was pregnant with our second child, and started the long countdown all expecting parents make to her due date in August. Our first child, Kamau, is a healthy, energetic 6 year old who was born without any issues, so we expected the same thing this time around.<\/p>\n<p>Fast forward a couple months to March \u2014 we went to the hospital for what we thought would be a routine anatomy scan and left finding out our daughter would be born with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.myface.org\/es\/craniofacial-conditions\/cleft-lip-and-or-palate\/\">labio leporino y paladar hendido<\/a>. I could tell you a whole narrative about how we found out from the doctor, the thoughts circling through our heads, or in hindsight how the ultrasound tech\u2019s tediousness made sense, but this post isn\u2019t about that. We all have our own stories and narratives that are unique \u2013 I\u2019d love to share ours one day, but today I\u2019d like to focus on the way I felt after finding out about Akemi\u2019s (that\u2019s our daughter\u2019s name) clefts.<\/p>\n<p>I decided to write about the feelings I had the day I found out about Akemi\u2019s clefts because I think those feelings are a bond that tie many of us with children who have facial differences. We all have our own \u201cfinding out\u201d story, but from my (not-so-scientific) research talking to other parents, it seems we all go through these feelings to some degree. They are a natural part of the process whether you found out in utero or the day your child was born . One of the things I wanted to know and feel after finding about the clefts was that there were other people who experienced the same feelings that I did \u2013 that I wasn\u2019t alone. With that said, I know parents go through these feelings at different rates and in various stages. Some parents even cycle through the different feelings multiple times.<\/p>\n<p>Confusion- Wait, what? Did I hear that right? What\u2019s a cleft again?<br \/>\nSadness- I can\u2019t believe this happened to us. This is terrible. How am I going to deal with this? What will my family and friends think?<br \/>\nGuilt- What did I do cause this? Was it my genes? Did I eat something or do something I wasn\u2019t supposed to?<br \/>\nAnger- What did we do to deserve this? Its not fair. This is going to be so difficult. How are we going to feed him?<br \/>\nContentment- I\u2019m ready. We\u2019re going to be okay. I can\u2019t wait to meet the baby. She\u2019s almost here! Wait. What do I need to bring to the hospital again?<\/p>\n<p>I think most of the feelings above are self-explanatory. I\u2019m not a mental health professional, so I\u2019ll stay away from an in-depth diagnosis on the feelings. What I really want to highlight to readers who have cleft-affected babies, will have cleft-affected babies, or know someone who has a cleft-affected baby is that you aren\u2019t alone in having any of these feelings. You shouldn\u2019t feel guilty for feeling guilty or angry at the world. Don\u2019t feel embarrassed that you\u2019re not sure how you will feed a baby with a cleft when you had a hard enough time feeding a baby without one. In general, there are going to be some low periods followed by a feeling of contentment that is usually reached when you\u2019ve come to terms with the diagnosis and you\u2019ve created a plan to tackle it head on. This isn\u2019t to say that there isn\u2019t still stress and decisions to make. This is simply about coming to terms with the fact that you are going to have a baby, he\/she is going to be born with a facial difference, and you are ready to love, nurture, and support him\/her. After you\u2019ve done all the research you could, talked to every person you thought would be helpful, learned about every bottle type you\u2019ll be able to feed your baby with, and consumed every bit of information out there on clefts, you\u2019ll remember once again that you\u2019re having a baby and it\u2019s going to be a great ride.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By: Shawn Sadjatumwadee Jan 10, 2014. This same date exactly a year ago, I barely had any idea what a cleft lip was and certainly didn\u2019t know what a cleft palate was. We had just found out my wife, Tene, was pregnant with our second child, and started the long<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"sd-more sd-all-trans\" href=\"https:\/\/www.myface.org\/es\/zen-art-cleft-discovery-part-1\/#more-953\">Leer m\u00e1s<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2024,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[96,94,178,41,95,98,42,44,99,45,145,201,139,163,48,181,100,180],"class_list":["post-953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-resources","tag-advice-for-parents","tag-babies","tag-bilateral-cleft-palate","tag-cleft","tag-cleft-babies","tag-cleft-cutie","tag-cleft-lip","tag-cleft-palate","tag-cleftopedia","tag-craniofacial","tag-defect-birth","tag-facial-difference","tag-guide-for-parenting","tag-inspiring-stories","tag-irps","tag-parent-advice-for-cleft","tag-parental-advice-for-cleft","tag-wyss-department-of-plastic-surgery"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Zen and the Art of Cleft Discovery Part I | myFace<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Read Shawn Sadjatumwadee\u2019s insights, advice and father of Akemi, who has bilateral cleft lip. 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